Who would have thought this day would be so different?  It started just the same as every other one recently.  But early afternoon everything changed.  I thought I was being good, but I was jabbed in the neck then bundled unceremoniously into a car, upon which I set off with 2 strange women.  It wasn't too bad as the one who was not driving talked to me nearly all the way.  The other one stopped the car rather suddenly a couple of times so I'm afraid I farted!  Not loudly but rather for the benefit of the deaf (silent but deadly - SBDs).
     We dropped off one of the women who left us in the car and returned a couple of minutes later with some food dishes and an extending lead for me - that left me alone with the driver lady - oops a few more SBDs!   Minutes later we arrived at a farm where I had a little walk and was introduced to the men and 2 very strange dogs.  You really must check this out - they only have 3 legs - but I must admit they do seem to have a jolly time.
     We went into  - guess what? - A HOUSE!!  I spent the next 2 hours checking it out and soon discovered that upstairs the cats get fed and they always leave something in their dish.  Unfortunately I hadn't worked how to get back down before the driver lady discovered where I was.  She had to carry me down - another SBD!  By the third time she found me there, I was frog-marched down and had to learn pretty fast how to negotiate stairs in reverse.
     I went on to discover I could lick the cooker, fish banana skins out of the bin, and weeing on the carpet seemed a good idea because it didn't splash my legs but this all got me shouted at.  I got my own back - you guessed it - more SBDs!
     Another walk and it was time to do something really weird.  We all went into a room with a box full of people!  I checked it out thoroughly, but couldn't get any of the box people to pay me any attention no matter how much I nudged that box.  Then I discovered a settee and even more importantly I discovered down the back of that settee - TWO mankey bones - all my birthdays came at once.  Apart from a few more SBDs they kept me occupied for the remainder of the evening, whilst everyone else watched that pointless television box thing.
     Another late walk and it was time for dinner and bed, but I have to gobble mine up so quickly in case the others take it from me.  I had a raw egg in mine - yum yum!  I saw the chickens on one of the walks.
     Yup it has been a strange day, and yup I can fart for Britain.  Wonder what?s happening tomorrow?